We Only Need The Knobbly Knees

            "Oh well, at least it's not hot and sunny." That was my first thought upon waking up on Sunday, October 3rd. The cause of this dour appraisal; my impending participation in the annual Imazu Region Sports Day. Anyone who has ever experienced a Japanese School Sports Day will appreciate the arduous nature of this rite. The merciless sun pounding down upon your head and reflected upward from the sand covered playing field that parches your throat as you endure the seemingly endless opening speeches that precede the interminable round of unfathomable games and suspense free relay races while awaiting the fleeting, distant glimpses of your own offspring's performance. As delightful as those moments are, they cannot quite balance the tremendous expenditure of effort required to attain them. So the prospect of actually participating in the Imazu Region Sports Day myself seemed doubly disagreeable.

             Thankfully, my desultory attitude toward this event soon melted away upon my arrival at the school. The enthusiastic smiles of all involved, grandparents to grandchildren, the eagerness with which everybody helped out in whatever way they could to guarantee the success of the event, the laughter of the children as they played together under the gazebos..... it was all so adorably infectious.

              OK, so the introductory speeches - all four of them - did drag on, but what followed was a paradise of kitsch . A young, sprightly teacher took to the stage to lead four generations of the young at heart in the rajio taiso, or radio exercises, which seem to be imbedded in the psyche of every single Japanese person. The tune, barely audible under a sea of hisses and scratches, seemed to be emanating from a warped 78 r.p.m. disc rotating upon some grandpa's first-owned gramophone. Anybody who thinks that Japan is all high-tech need not scrape too hard to find the pre-World War II lifestyle which still thrives beneath the glossy facade.

          It was while abandoning myself to the faintly ridiculous faux-eurythmic exercise routine that it dawned upon me just why I was enjoying this all so much. The breeze block structure of the school. The tinny sound system. The seemingly effortless determination on the part of all involved to enjoy the day no matter how idiotic it might all seem. The silly games enjoyed by all, no matter how old or young, with such uninhibited and ingenuous spirit, reminded me of all the fun I used to have as a child when holidaying at Butlins Holiday Camp. All that was missing was the Knobbly Knees Competition and the Glamorous Granny Pageant. We were even blessed with the grey skies of a British summer and a torrential downpour to close the event. We didn't need any Red Coats to lead us in chants of "Hi-Di-Hi." This affair was organised and lead by the campers themselves, and a resounding success it was.

                If anybody believes that the community spirit has been forever lost to solitary, alienating leisure pursuits, crime, the disintegration of the extended family by geographic and social mobility, dysfunctional children unable to interact with anything not equipped with a mouse or a joystick, or any other of the countless social ills which are said to be eroding the World War II spirit which was once said to thrive in Britain, then they should come to Japan and witness the all-embracing fraternity which spread joy to all under the gloriously grey sky that day.  It was magical.

                The only thing I must add, in the spirit of communal harmony, is that we, the Imazu Ohigashi team, trashed the other competitors. "Hi-Di-Hi, Ho-Di-Ho!!"